A Different Kind of Soccer Mom?

Is it bad that I'm cheering for my son as he sleeps in his crib and I watch on the video monitor? Well at 4 months old he's too young to play sports, so I'm sort of rooting for him on the sidelines in another way.  Insane I know, what did they do before there were any monitors? 

Anyways the reason for this insanity is today my son broke the 45 minute nap mark. You go  Baby!  This is a major milestone for him considering just 2 weeks ago he couldn't go to sleep on his own and I had to carry him in a sling for naps.  Everytime he woke up usually at 20 min and 45 min, I would have walk and jiggle to get him back to sleep until he had a full nap.

  Now he's sleeping in his crib, but naps have been tough.  45 minutes was not enough for him and he would wake up fussy and we would start the process all over again..all day long.  Eat, Play, Sleep, Eat, Play, Sleep.   I stopped swaddling once we started sleep training and he was able to go to sleep.  They say developmentally its good to stop swaddling around 4 months so they get to use thier arms and legs.  But he still has some of his startle reflex, his overactive legs wake him up at each sleep cycle, but at night he is able to resettle, but not in the day.  So I started swaddling just his legs today.  Seems to have worked. Longer naps mean more rest for him, less fussiness, and some downtime for me to finally get some work done.  Will this trend continue?  I hope.  We'll see...as you know with babies each day is different.

The Short Napper

It's been more than a week of sleep training and we have the overnight sleep worked out.  He goes down between 5-6pm after a bath and a feeding and sleeps until 6 or 7 am with a 3 or 4 am feeding.  What a miracle! But naps that's a different story.  

How long should naps last?

All the books say if it's under 1 hour its not really nap you should leave them in the crib and see if they will fall asleep again.  Sleeping on his tummy my baby slept for 1 to 3 hours, but now that he has learned how to flip over-naps only last 30-45 minutes. It's like clockwork at the 45 minute mark...his eyes open and he can't go back to sleep.  It's not a problem, except that his window of awake time is so short.  About an hour or hour and 10 minutes and then he starts to yawn, get tired and fussy.  So back into the crib he goes.  I miss him.

How many naps should a baby take?

At 4 months, babies should nap 3-4 hours total. So ideally 2 naps of 1 1/2 to 2 hours and then late afternoon nap at

for about 45 minutes. Right now my baby is taking like 5 naps because they are so short. But I don't let him last nap go past 4:45 so it doesn't interfere with his night sleep. It's been hard because now that I'm sleep training him in the crib he's not as portable and all day long

I'm monitoring his naps, but it's complete shift from when I had to carry him all day. He is now able to self-soothe. I know all this scheduling and monitoring will allow my baby to well-rested, happy and healthy.

I'm not pumping enough milk?

I remember the days when I was learning to breastfeed and my biggest problem was an overactive letdown.  This made my baby gassy, he would choke and cry after every feeding, and I literally had to lay on my back and contort my body to feed him.  It was a nightmare. By  5 weeks my supply leveled out, but now that he is 4 months old his needs are changing.

Now my concern is I'm not pumping enough milk.  I used to pump about 4 oz-5oz per session. I'm still getting that amount now, but when I give him the bottle he no longer just needs 4oz he needs about 7oz per feeding.  I talked to a lactation consultant and she suggested I eat more protein, make sure I drink enough water, try Milk Plus tea.  If you have had similar issues here are some links that helped me.

Overactive Letdown Solutions

Tips to Increase Your Supply

Sleep Training Day 3

So Aaron went to sleep at 5:45 pm and by 6:08 he was asleep.  So far so good.  Sleep Training has been going very well, but at 2:00 am we hit a roadblock.  Aaron has learned how to roll over and everytime he ends up on his back can't get back to sleep.  I went in his room several times to help him, but now it's starting a new habit.  So now we may have start sleep training again. 

 He's such a fast learner.  In one week in a half he went from us rocking him to sleep, in his pack and play, swaddled, with no way to self-soothe waking up every 2-4 hours, to sleeping in his crib with no rocking,  learning to suck his fingers, roll over, and sleep straight through from 6 pm to 3 am.

Sleep Training Day 2

Its 6:38pm and my son is asleep.  OMG.  I put him down at 5:50pm and he was asleep by 6:15pm. 

Here's how the rest of the night went:

 -He slept through until 1:05am, cried a little, but was able to put himself back to sleep at 1:17am.  -Then he woke up again at 3:40am he didn't seem able to get back to sleep as quickly as he had been so I went into feed him and he was back asleep by 4:10am.

 -He woke up at 5:50am...but was still cranky.  I waited until 6 am and got him up for the day, but knew he would probably have to take a nap soon because he didn't seem ready to be up yet.

Day 2 Naps:

-He slept from 6:50am-9:40 am and it only took him 10 minutes to settle. It was a long sleep because it was a continuation of his night sleep.

-He slept from 11:00-12:30 and it he fell asleep almost immediately.

-By 1:57 he was ready for another nap and slept 50 minutes and took about 15 minutes to settle.

-Here's where it got confusing.  He needed to take a 4th nap because it was so early in the day. 

-He was tired by 3:19, but couldn't fall asleep until 4:00 and was on and off trying to sleep until I had to wake him at 4:45pm because you don't want his nap too close to bedtime at 6 pm.

Sleep Training Day 1

Feeling Guilty:What I thought would be one of the hardest things to do as a new mom was actually quite easy.  Well not exactly stress free, but less stressful than what I had been doing for the past 4 months. Believe me the day of sleep training I had a pit in my stomach, I was nervous and felt guilty. Would it work? How could I leave my son crying? Would he think I was abandoning him?  How could I be so selfish, just because I didn't want to rock him to sleep or get up several times in the middle of the night.  But it wasn't just about me, it was about him, and it was about my marriage.  I saw him struggling everyday to sleep, I had to carry him in sling so he would stay asleep.  If I stopped walking he would wake up. He would scream for hours at night  I would start at 6 pm and rock him to sleep and then trick him into his crib, sometimes he would wake up immediately others after 20 minutes and this would continue on and off until about 8-8:30pm when he would finally conk out.  I was tired, sweaty, hungry because I didn't eat dinner and mad at my husband if I was by myself.  Or if we were tag teaming we were both exhausted and had no energy for each other. The longest he ever slept was 4 hours then waking up sometimes every hour.  Fine for newborn, but he is almost 4 months..12lbs physically able to sleep through the night. 

 The 3 Day Sleep Solution-Crying It Out-Extinction:While there are other methods...my son didn't respond well to them.  He is a strong spirited personality.  He seemed more agitated if I would go back in or if I tried to pat and shush him.

The 1st night: After a bath and a feeding he started his evening crying. I kissed him goodnight and we put him down at 5:40pm and left the room.  As I watched from the video monitor I could see him struggling.  He cried and cried, but not more than usual.  It was just heartwrenching because this time I wasn't doing anything to soothe him.  I was so sad. But I was committed to seeing it through because if you stop what is the point of putting your baby through that and they learn nothing.   They say the most important thing is consistency and with CIO you see a difference in 3 days.   After about 40 minutes we went into burp him because of all his crying and put him back down.  He was asleep by 6:50pm which is still about 1 hour and 10 minutes, but its about the same time it would take for me to rock him to sleep and he would usually wake up.  He didn't wake up until 9:45pm then he started to flip on his belly and fell asleep at 10:30 and stayed asleep until 4:45pm.  That was the longest he ever slept.  We fed him at 4:50am and he was back down at 5:06am, by 5:11 he was asleep and slept until 8 am.  Wow!

1st Naps:  They say naps are the hardest.  So his first nap was at 9:15am .  It only took 17 minutes for him to settle and he slept for 2 hours and 10 minutes.  That's longer than when I would carry him in the sling.  His second nap at 1:35pm and he didn't cry at all and it took him 3 minutes to fall asleep and napped for 1 hr. 25 minutes.  I actually had to wake him so it wouldn't cut into his feed time or third nap.  I can't believe it -I have never woken my baby up- ever! His third nap was at 4:17pm  and lasted about 30 minutes-which I also woke him up so he would be tired enough to go to bed for the night at 6 pm.  I'm still in shock, but this was only Day 1.

When to Sleep Train a Baby?

I never knew that the number one most difficult challenge of motherhood was getting my child to sleep.  I don't just mean sleep through the night, I mean sleep period so he didn't wake up cranky.  So when is the right time to sleep train your baby and when should you start thinking about it? Well, if your into attachment parenting-the answer is never.  Some books say 5 months...some say by 4 months all their habits are set.  Now that I have gone through the challenges of a son that didn't sleep well and would cry hysterically every night for hours because he was overtired. I say it's never too early to teach a baby good sleep habits and if they don't have good habits, then 3-4 months would be ideal to sleep train to make sure they get enough good quality sleep.

Here's what led me to my revelation:

I read all the books...they say put them down drowsy, but awake.  That never worked for me.  I tried it, but he would just cry and not sleep so I gave up.  

 After almost 4 months of doing whatever I could to protect my baby's sleep from carrying him for all his naps to rocking, shushing,  bouncing on an exercise ball for hours every night for hours and everytime he would wake usually every 4 hours, then 3 hours, then 2 then 1-I am physically and mentally exhausted.  It's been taking a toll on my attitude, my work and my marriage.  

 I never really let my son cry. As a first time mom, you feel like you need to do whatever you can to make sure they are loved, healthy and happy.  So I thought that meant if they cried I wasn't doing my job.  Well when it came to falling asleep, my son cried all the time no matter what I did-so it was time to help him learn healthy sleep habits and self-soothe.  I had never really tested any methods, because everytime I put him down he would cry. The Pat-shush didn't work for him -it made him more agitated.

It was time to Cry-It-Out.  My son needed it.  He was overtired and would cry for hours before crashing out for the night-even my soothing didn't work anymore.  I felt guilty, yet I knew it is what my son needed to learn how to go to sleep and stay asleep.

Self-Sacrafice

Surgery Set-back